Product Releases aren't the place to quote your boss
It never ceases to amaze me when a prospective client shows me a product release he or she prepared that contains a quote such as "the XYZ product is totally unique to our industry because of its small size and it contains superior world class features that will improve customer performance for years to come," according to Joe Smith, VP of sales.
The first question I ask is: what are the dimensions and why are they important? Second, what are the features and how will each improve customer performance? Third, how many years? And, what the heck does “world class” mean anyway???
Quotes similar to the one above amaze me because you rarely see product news in a publication or on the web that contains a quote from the company VP or president. Perhaps you’ll see, “According to a company spokesman, the XYZ is smaller than other widgets, which will reduce operating costs.” And the reason for the quote is an editor wants you to know the claim is unsubstantiated. It is his or her way of saying, “You didn’t include data regarding cost reduction and I, therefore, don’t have enough information to validate your assertion.”
Why then do we see quotes? Two fundamental reasons: egocentric management and/or a subordinate who wants to impress his or her boss or is afraid not to include their quote for fear of alienating them. In addition to not including quotes, effective product releases need to be concise, to the point, and include substantiation of all claims. In other words, if you say your product is precise; then quantify it. If it is compact, for example, include “the XYZ measures 1/8” wide x 1” long and weighs only 1/2" ounce.”
Finally, when preparing a product release, adopt the point-of-view that you are providing a service to editors by giving them meaningful information; rather than just trying to get free product publicity. Be disciplined in your writing: Editors want to know what your product is, what it does, how it does it, where you get it, and what it costs. Give editors the facts and let them decide whether or not your product release will be of interest to their audience. And eliminate flowery adjectives such as “unique, revolutionary, superior, or world class.” Editors reserve the right to make those subjective judgments.
Steven M. Stroum is the founder and president of Venmark International, an industrial and technical product publicity firm located in Wellesley, Massachusetts.
